King Charles has spoken out following the release of court documents that confirmed Prince Andrew went to sex-trafficker Jeffery Epstein’s private island, with the King strongly condemning Meghan Markle for not stopping Prince Andrew from visiting the island.
“I understand that the news has today has hurt the reputation of my family for many,” said the King, “and that is why I am extremely disappointed in the actions of my daughter-in-law in not stopping this from ever occurring. When will her attacks on this family end?”
“Poor Prince Andrew, if you could see him now you would be devastated. Ever since he read in the news the documents would be released, he suddenly got over his inability to sweat.”
“We offered to get him an adult masseuse and he just burst into tears screaming ‘I miss Jeff’. The damage that Markle has done to this family, it’s just tragic.”
Following the announcement, royal correspondents at tabloids around the world have gone all in to focus all their coverage on a leak from a source within the palace talking about an incident wherein Meghan Markle allegedly didn’t say ‘bless you’ after someone sneezed.
Epstein partying it up on Royal properties with the friends and family of the king, and we’re supposed to just believe that the queen and Charles knew nothing about it.
Also, reminder that Andrew’s victim was trafficked at Mar a Lago, where her father was working at the time as a maintenance man. Gishlane Maxwell met and picked her up at Mar a Lago, and brought her to Epstein.
Ever heard of Sir Jimmy Savile, British national treasure, close friend of then Prince Charles, serial child rapist, and necrophile? Here he is telling a fun little anecdote:
Wait, NECROPHILE???
edit: oh my god 🤢
Here’s a picture of him apparently wearing one of their eyes:
https://lemmy.kya.moe/imgproxy?src=i.imgur.com%2fH6dZS4S.jpg
Received a knighthood from the queen and from the pope.
Bonus, an article on the late queen’s brother:
See also:
Thank you for compiling these links. I’ll believe you on the eyeball thing, I don’t need anymore nightmare fuel.
They made a drama series about Savile called The reckoning, starring Steve Coogan. Coogan says it’s the only time he has asked to not do a particular scene, when he had to film the necrophilia scene, it was way too disturbing even for him to act out
Savile would also take souvenirs from the morgue. Glass eyes, teeth, etc.
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poor Alan Alda looks like he is pained having to endure that
🤮
Lots of people eating the onion in here
I’m not sure why, but there are a lot of Lemmy users who have a hard time picking up on sarcasm
Neurodivergent attribute. In a lot of ways it’s a good thing, though, because it’s less socially acceptable to post hate speech and controversial jokes here as a result of nobody assuming satire.
wdym I see hate speech on Lemmy all the time
It was comparative statement to places like Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, YouTube, etc.
It’s about the same as on Reddit though.
Not from my experience, but I’ve never been to the outer edges of fediverse.
True, but on Lemmy, the hate is likely to come from mods and admins at a higher rate than on Reddit.
Here… on the sarcasm and satire community.
You spend the last 7 years dealing with Trump as President and then the shit show after…
At some point you get PTSD from going “oh this is a joke”… Then finding out he really said or did it, AND people still love him.
LMAO cuz it’s too real
Is chaser an onion equivalent?
The chaser is satire, yes. Australian. They’ve had a long and storied history besides the satire website.
tl;dr: Dressed up as Osama and crashed an APEC meeting that hold lockdown the entire city, getting past many international protections.
They had to give themselves up after getting way too close to world leaders because they weren’t getting caught.
Trojan Horse is pretty great https://invidious.snopyta.org/watch?v=JjShDCqs7jk&local=true
Damn this is how a prank should be done, fucking hilarious. Gotta watch that show now.
It’s both great and sad that satire can be so subtle you’re often wondering if something is satire or not AND reality is so messed up even what should be the most obviously hamfisted satire has you question if it actually is.
This is not subtle at all though.
Yeah I got got
I think Chaser has more bite. Honorary Americans in my book for all the incendiary stuff they do.
Holt shit, almost fell for it…
Reminder that British royalty is not benevolent or even simply not malevolent:
… in November 1973 the Queen feared that a proposed bill to bring transparency to company shareholdings could enable the public to scrutinise her finances … exempting only the crown from the legislation would mean it was obvious any shareholdings so anonymised were the Queen’s property … Howe proposed that the government would insert a new clause into the bill granting the government the power to exempt certain companies from the requirement to declare the identities of their shareholders … It would be three years before the bill and its secrecy clause would come into law
This has to be satire.
Yes it’s posted by The Onion.
It is satire, but it isn’t the onion
My bad, the fact that it was posted to “The Onion@midwest.social” threw me off.
It’s not the onion
Chaser is an Australian satire magazine, and it’s posted in the onion community.
This is The Onion community so you may be on to something…
How can you do this Henry and meghan