How is a 3 year gap a problem if she’s 20, wtf.
It’s not some people are just stupid.
He said “you already know that bothers a subsection of the population”, not that it actually did, it just did in his imagination.
I’ve literally never even once heard someone raise a fuss about an age gap that small. Dude sounds like an ass.
I see this come up on social media, moreso with Gen Z and people that just like to be outraged about stuff online. They seem to be more sensitive to age gaps and call it grooming, even stuff within the typical “half your age plus seven” rule that most millenials and older gens seemed to find normal. I’m not sure that only 3 years would be a problem even for them though.
Well, I can totally imagine someone grooming a future partner from a very early age of 30 just to wait until they get retired and can spend the rest of life with them >!/s!<
I’m Gen Z and my gf is 9 yrs older than me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Ok that’s sus
Why?
I had a friend who irritated this part of the internet with fanfiction and got death threats because of it! It’s really stupid lol they’re called “antis” because they’re anti everything.
They’re so insane that they have called characters who knew other characters (all fictional characters, treated as seriously as though this was real life, mind you) when they were underage but ended up dating when both characters were canonically both above 18, they call the older character in that scenario a groomer. With their full chest. When no grooming activity has taken place. It’s very black and white. Also very “you should have known you would have offended me with that idea”-y which is very not good for creative work areas.
This is the side of the internet that infantilizes full grown adults, thus making a 20 to 23 year old age gap “problematic” (in heavy sarcasm quotes because I pretty vehemently believe there is nothing wrong with 2 consenting adults being in a relationship together. Problematic is a useful word still, but this just is not what problematic looks like)
its Tumblr.
the word you’re looking for is Tumblr.
Tumblr was historically split down the middle between fetish porn, and people who just had to take offense at everything to feel special about themselves.
Now those special folk are all thats left, now that Yahoo removed the porn.
No, not just Tumblr, they thrive on Twitter as well. That was where my friend got the death threats primarily. They did sprout from the Tumblr younglings though. I’m convinced antis are what happen when you’re catered to too much lol
They’d have had a field day with a situation that played out when I was in my 20s.
One girl I went to high school with, who was a few years older than me, had a big crush on the new young science teacher that started at our school in her junior or senior year. She took his classes and was friendly and close with him, but as far as I know, nothing inappropriate happened, and he was absolutely, positively, strictly professional the entire time.
Then she graduated and went off to college and they stayed in touch. Again friendly. Maybe less “strictly professional”, but certainly not romantic, even though anyone who knew her knew she had had this crush on him for years at that point.
After college, or even later in her college years, they start hanging out…as friends, maybe as casual dates, idk. Then after she finished college they quickly started dating, became a serious couple, and eventually got married and started a family.
Was it weird? Sure. But was any aspect of it inappropriate? Ehhhhh…idunno. I don’t think anyone ever “crossed the line” at any point, but comments were definitely made, eyebrows were raised, and rumors ran wild.
But in the end I think they kept it kosher enough, and by the time they got married, I feel like most people had gotten to the point that their reaction was more or less, “Yeah I guess it’s kinda weird, but whatever. It’s none of my business and if they’re both happy, good for them.”
But the kind of people you’re talking about would’ve had a meltdown.
If he’s 17, I suppose.
It’s not, this a fake story used to drive rage engagement. The person making it up thinks certain people (feminists I’m guessing?) Would care about a 3 year gap between consenting adult just because they care about actual stuatory rape.
23-20=3? Or am I missing something?
It’s not the math in question, it’s that 3 seems to be a small gap when the younger party is 20
Ah yeah of course! The engineer in my stupid brain was going off before common sense.
Maybe it’s because I’m a foreigner; maybe I’m also too disconnected, but I didn’t get half of the supposed contentious items listed in this post.
Reading the comments, I was like, ‘oh, that’s what they meant by…’. The body count really surprised me, and in a negative way. Body count sounds so… tasteless. But who cares. Since I don’t use that expression, I’ll probably forget it soon (the good side of having a lousy memory).
Body count sounds so… tasteless.
It is. Definitely not something I’d include under “modern discourse”. I’d say a co-worker asking that and using that particular term is the one that’s disconnected from the present.
They’re drunk playing truth or dare, really doesn’t seem that disconnected from the present to me to ask for their body count in that context.
Guess we live and work in different environments. The only place I still see people talking that way and using such excuses for it is in the mandatory sexual harassment training videos.
We need more people like Alex
Ignorant and complacent? Alex would be a Nazi sympathizer.
Honestly I just want more people who don’t know what “body count” means.
I agree with this. It’s shames people who aren’t promiscuous.
Edit: orrr we can say it degrades those who haven’t had a fuckton of sexual partners… you like that description better??
For people who use the term, men who have had few partners are losers, women who have had more than a few are sluts, and actual human beings are reduced to scores. It’s a shit mentality in all directions.
Ew. I don’t quite like your framing any better
Ew. Luckily I’m free to disagree with you
Sex Shame much?
I thought they were implying he was a serial killer. But comments further down show that is not the case.
Are people actually getting their undies in a bunch over a 3 year age gap? I find that hard to believe.
3 year age gap is nothing. I don’t understand people’s need to be disgusted by or police consenting adults.
There’s 15 years between me and my partner. Both 30+ so both very much consenting adults. But Christ, you still get people chirping with the ‘power differential’ bullshit. Like seriously, you’d think I was 13 the way people go at the age gap. Then again, that was when I actually used Reddit so.
People are always gonna be outraged by something stupid.
People who spend too much time on the internet, are often young, don’t have that much experience of the real world, but do have a disproportionate voice online. That’s why you’ll read plenty of dumb shit on the internet when it comes to relationships.
Luckily most of them outgrow this nonsense by actually living life. They join the work force, they make friends, they fuck, they fall in love. Unfortunately rather than living life and growing, some people become terminally online. They spend all day on the internet talking about life rather than living it. Afraid of getting hurt, or because they were hurt and decided never again, they are destined to wake up one day and realise they’ve wasted what could have been the best years of the life.
It’s sad, but it is what it is.
I dated a work colleague and people wouldn’t shut up about that either. I honestly think they spent more time thinking about it than we did. It wasn’t like she was my boss or anything so I wasn’t quite sure why it made any difference.
They kept saying it would be awkward if we break up, but then there were people in the company I already hated and I didn’t need to sleep with them to come to that conclusion.
Uh, if you were 13 and your partner 28, yep, that would be a “problem.”
I put it in quotes because I guess it depends on the region’s age of consent.
But my point is that an age gap can be significant depending on how old both parties are at the time.
Having said that, there was an 11 year old gap between me and my partner, but she was already in her mid-30s, so, no biggie.
That’s why I specified ‘between consenting adults’, because yes, 13 and 28 is definitely a problem.
Oh. I missed that.
I saw a 27 year old on Reddit bragging about how they’d never date a 25 year old because they were too young 🙄
Social media really attracts some lunatics.
There are a lot of crazies out there. Some twitch or YouTube streamer I forgot the name of was accused of pedophilia for dating a minor a few years ago. His girlfriend was 17. He was 18 at the time.
IIRC a few years ago they tried to charge an 18 year old with possession of CP for having nudes of his 17 year old girlfriend at the time. Apparently her parents found out about their relationship and didn’t approve. Which seems like something that could have been handled with a sit-down talk rather than arresting him and potentially putting him on a list for life, but what do I know.
The time is not the issue. It’s more that the two people are in different phases of life and maturity. Though 20 junior in university and 23 right out of college isn’t really much of a difference. 20yo vs a 17yo junior in HS would be a much bigger difference
A 23-year-old just out of college acts exactly the same way as a 20-year-old in college. There’s literally no difference.
I get the difference in experience and where you are in life is a factor, but the issue is people presume the existence of that factor outweighs all others, and that it can only result in a negative.
Can you give me an example of actual harm being done to the younger person in a gap between high school and college? Harm that applies near universally, to every young person, if they ever enter a relationship with someone that is only a single major life experience ahead of them?
Harm can be done, obviously, but it’s about the circumstances of that specific relationship. There’s no reason to presume it as a rule in a case like this.
It also makes an unfair presumption on both parties: that the older person is irresponsible and manipulative, and the younger person is immature and vulnerable.
It really is kind of odd how much we talk about this topic without appreciating that at a certain point we are almost infantilizing young adults. We agree they’re old enough to vote, own a gun, smoke, and drink, but we can’t give them the the courtesy of respecting their decisions on who they want to sleep with? They’re not actual children.
Uh huh. I’m not going to search for abuse cases. But you can tell it’s very much frowned upon in society just by looking at popular media.
For a recent example: the new Scott Pilgrim show. He’s universally looked down upon for dating a 17yo.
It really is kind of odd how much we talk about this topic without appreciating that at a certain point we are almost infantilizing young adults.
HS students are children.
Yes they are. It’s crazy.
Also there is a weird. Women are powerful and can look after themselves we have equality now. Then the next sentence omg that man is awful he is taking advantage of that poor helpless women who isn’t capable of making her own life choices.
Half your age plus seven is the “general rule” I’ve always heard, but there are always exceptions. Even with that 23 and 20 is fine.
I’ve known some people who had a ‘+5 on weekends’ amendment to that rule.
That’s more of a preference. The “your age divided by 2 plus 7” rule is more about social acceptability of the relationship. But hook-ups are just sex, and generally not subjected to scrutiny, and that doesn’t have to be acceptable to anyone but you and your partner.
Most people generally like to keep their partners in their age range, but it’s very flexible depending on the prospective partner. And there are quite a few young people out there that do genuinely like more mature sexual partners even if they’d never actually date them.
This is one of those people who dont live or care about the internet, honestly this sounds like a very healthy lifestyle.
Lemmy really gives reddit for boomers with these made up rage bait posts like this.
Gets straight to the top and everyone is saying they wish they could be this guy because they don’t care about modern issues and want to go “back to the good ol days”. Rage bait didn’t even get rage, just people creaming over the idea of not thinking about global issues and trans rights.
I think people are just sick of all the self righteous fart smellers and the idea of someone who hasn’t gotten sucked into paying attention to them is endearing.
A couple months ago I was hanging out with my teenage cousin and his friends. I said something funny, and a friend said “what is that a reference to?” The problem I have is that I’m expected to be “making references” and all jokes are “memes”. There’s barely any original comedy to the point where original jokes are misunderstood as “rare memes”. I just say funny things. I’m not referencing anyone. I do like memes, but not everything is a meme.
Lol “kids these days” you’re saying the same shit people have said to shit on younger generations since Aristotle. And you’re calling them unoriginal.
Uhhh no? I’m 24. And the whole meme craze is driving out original comedy in favor of in-jokes. Also, I doubt Aristotle complained about tiktok memes
They could just get off the internet if they wanted
Nailed it.
I’m confused, what exactly did they nail?
He must have a high body count!
Why is it helpful to think about gender or global news exactly? Isn’t it better for mental well being to focus on your loved ones and what you can accomplish in a day. I don’t appreciate attention whores sucking up my time usually.
Because gender or global news may be important to your loved ones or just other humans you might like to show basic respect and decency to. You don’t need to become well read on every subject anyone might be passionate about, but it really doesn’t take a lot of effort to learn some pronouns and generally what’s going on in the world so you can be kinder to others.
Thank you, well said.
Isolationist me me me, why would I care about something that I’m not aware affects me or people I love even though it absolutely does attitude is the boomer mentality.
And energy.
I also don’t use Twitter, Instagram or TikTok because they’re terrible.
I also don’t quite understand why a 20-year-old dating a 23-year-old is contentious. There’s no age gap at all. Who exactly is having a problem with this?
He sounds like a perfectly normal person who just doesn’t read the news.
Somewhat well adjusted, untouched by the corrupt hands of those unfamiliar with the prickly sting of fresh grass.
He said “you already know that bothers a subsection of the population”.
Not that anyone actually did, that was in his imagination.
Oh it bothers a certain kind of chronically online person. Tbf it’s a very small number of people, but they do exist, and are quite loud
What do they find an acceptable age range then? 6 months but no more?
What DOES from the river to the sea mean?
Edit: thank you all for helping me/us understand more about this.
There’s a pretty good Wikipedia article on it
As mentioned, it’s the Jordan River to the Mediterranean. It’s been used by Palestians since at least the mid 60s in a number of different chants, e.g. “from the river to the sea Palestine will be free/Arab/Islamic” (technically, the latter two are “from the water to the water” because otherwise the Arabic doesn’t rhyme).
Hamas’s charter says
Hamas rejects any alternative to the full and complete liberation of Palestine, from the river to the sea
While Netanyahu’s far-right Likud party’s 1977 manifesto says
between the Sea and the Jordan there will only be Israeli sovereignty
It’s historically been somewhat controversial, with Zionists typically saying that it calls for the destruction of the state of Israel and/or the expulsion of Jews from the area. CNN fired a political commentator for saying it ~5 years back, and it’s regulated as hate speech in some places in Europe. Most pro Palestinian activists think that’s ridiculous, but it’s worth being aware of.
I mean the original charter for Hamas also mentioned ‘killing the Jews’ but I’m sure it was a side point 🤔😅
The current charter specifically makes a point of saying that that’s not what they want though. Makes a point out of dragging a distinction between Jewish people (they don’t have a problem with) and the Zionist project (which they do have a problem with
I’m pretty sure they took out the genocide part just because it is a bit derivative. They’re committed to peaceful protests I agree.
…I learned it from this comment section too. Had no idea.
A call to genocide basically.
That’s a questionable headline considering it was police interpreting an existing law (no courts or legislator has weighed in on the incident in the article). Read a better source here: https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2023/11/10/germany-gaza-protests-crackdown
police interpreting an existing law
That’s what the police does. They enforce the law as they understand it.
You’re right that it hasn’t been tested in court, but that only happens when someone challenges it in court.
It’s also important to note that Germany does not have absolute free speech, there are several anti-hate-speech and anti-nazi laws that limit that right, and the police can and does enforce that frequently.
My issue was with the headline and the article not making anything clear. You’re not repeating the headline in your argument so I think we’re done here.
Lazy troll is lazy
This is the top of my feed on lemmy.world… yeah Reddit is totally dying
reddit was the biggest webiste in the US at one point wasn’t it?
What do you think it will die just one day to the next?
Facebook is kinda dead, isn’t it? but there is a big factor of inertia in it, it’s a huge site, so it dies slowly.
Myspace and yahoo are both still here too.
Making my own custom Yahoo homepage widget by widget was really fun in 2008 :)
I mean it’s more like social media in general is dying. Alex here is the future.
Edit: I knew a guy that was a little bit like this. I.e. young and nerdy enough that I’d expect him to have his eyeballs on the news feed, but no. I used to have to explain references to a bunch of stuff that was “going on” because he didn’t care about being “up to date”.
Whenever I explained one of those things it rarely felt like knowing that stuff was worth it. It’s mostly noise.
hundreds
Either he didn’t actually play mw3 a lot or he was terrible at it.
It’s because the story is fake
A bunch of coworkers got drunk, played truth or dare, and someone asked him his body count? Yeah, that’s the kind of scenario a 15 year old would make up.
That’s not necessarily as far fetched as you would hope…
NO ONE and I mean NO ONE plays truth or dare with coworkers. That’s like an, I won the lotto, type chance of happing.
It happened to me on 3rd shift at a grocery store, where every employee was 18-24. A girl in my department a year older than me would flirt hard.
Third option: he’s just bad at instantly making an estimation
Or, he really got into bed with all the mothers he insulted.
Probably the latter… but you know what? He’s Alex, and as with so many other things, he just doesn’t care.
…or the whole thing was made up, because who would just assume a specific game?
MW3 didn’t come out 13 years ago, it came out 12 years ago so he wasn’t 10 either!
The fact that I now feel ancient because MW3 was an adults game they played a lot at 10 beside. This post has big clueless zoomer energy.
Actually it came out like a month ago.
Actually the world was created last thursday.
I’d say that playing “adults game” as an underage because actual adults don’t care and make no difference between child quests and bloody shooters is very relatable. Maybe today things are different because of all the people trying to blame all violence on videogames but I think it still is the same at least in some families.
I think i miscommunicated my point.
I could care less that a 10 year old played MW3. I’m just shocked that so much time has passed that someone who is an adult now played that game at 10 years old because I was 20 when the game came out.
Ah, thanks for elaborating, to that I can also relate, unfortunately 😅
What the world really needs right now, more smart Alex…🤓👍
What is “body count” in this context? Does it mean your number of sexual partners? If so, that’s very dismissive and reductive.
Yes and yes
Sex is fun, and meeting new fun people is great.
Referring to them as “body count” is neither
Not going to list names when I’m asked about my experiences, unless I’m having that conversation with a SO.
Being respectful of people in general is important. Whatever phrasing that allows me to talk about myself and keeps the other involved people anonymous is fine by me.
Why don’t call them partners, for instance? How’s that not anonymous?
It’s to remove the concept of relationships. Stay disconnected from other humans, just get your pleasure and move along.
Well, that’s just awful, thanks.
I am 24, autistic, straight edge, and a data analyst. I’m the youngest person in my company, the closest person to me in age is 45. I haven’t used a regular social media site since I was 14. My only interaction with modern discourse is my girlfriend’s 18 year old sister. When she talks she might as well be speaking another language. My hobbies are unix, classic literature, VHS collecting, and synthesizers. My girlfriend calls me her 80 year old boyfriend.
Isn’t Lemmy a social media?
A real human bean, and a real… hero.
A bean, you say?
He is living the life.
