No, we hate stopping because it takes you all twenty minutes to pee and then another twenty to get food and snacks. And now your mother’s decided she wants a sit down meal and there’s a cute shop she wants to visit before we get on the road.
And now it’s five in the morning and we’ve been on the road for sixteen hours and we’re still 150 miles from home and you want me to check into a hotel to get some rest when we could have been back in our own beds by 10pm if we didn’t have to stop because your bladders are all the size of thimbles.
And I’m paying for all of this.
I saw a comedian who said “The only vacation a father gets is after everyone’s in the car and he closes the trunk. That short walk to the driver’s seat is so fucking relaxing.”
When I’m driving, there are 4 reasons to stop:
- The tank is empty.
- The bladder is full.
- I’m so tired we’re all to crash and die.
- The car is on fire and/or falling apart
Unless one of these applies, we’re driving. And if a stop is required, there are zero acceptable reasons to extend that stop that are not on this list.
Edit: “we’re there” is also a good reason to stop
On a recent road trip I discovered a new reason to stop. I saw a sign that said “drive a tank $99”
That doesn’t sound very enjoyable and seems a bit evil. The tank will hardly go a couple of meters before the bottom of the glass cracks and all the fish will fall out on the hot asphalt before suffocating to death.
What about hunger…
drive thru and eat while driving
Ordering ahead and picking up inside is much faster than a drive thru
I swear girls have insanely small bladders. I’ve never stopped on a road trip with guys, but with girls, you ALWAYS have to stop.
Hell, if you’ve got enough empty bottles dudes never have to stop. Piss jugs are the way of the road.
Yep. I’m a dad and this is 1000% accurate.
Not a dad yet but apparently qualified to be
When I take a long trip I’m always happy to let other people pass me and pull over when I can so they can get by. I don’t know why people are in such a frantic, manic hurry to get where they’re going - they miss the opportunity to enjoy the drive.
I like to pass quickly because I don’t enjoy driving. I have to focus on the road so I don’t get into an accident. I’ll be happy once we get to out destination.
Maybe a lot of people feel that way. Unfortunately today people see driving as a chore instead of as a nice slice of time when you can relax and enjoy taking a journey and seeing the world. Maybe other people don’t get as much out of scenery as I do - but I like taking my time and not feeling rushed.
Yea I must admit the scenery usually isn’t that great for where I drive. And when it is nice either I am driving at least 100km/h or there is a lot of fast moving traffic. It’s just hard for me to enjoy it when I’m too afraid to cause an accident.
Well the local scenery where I drive is mostly just houses and fields, but the mountains around here (Utah) are amazing and drinking it all in is just a great thing I love to experience. I do recommend always paying strict attention to the road and traffic, though - that should come first no matter what.
That sounds beautiful, hopefully I get to enjoy that once. Some American roads do hit differently, in Europe though they are harder to find. That is without too much traffic.
Here in Salt Lake, our valley is surrounded by beautiful mountains, so no matter what direction you go there’s something great to look at. They’re very orange and yellow right now with all the autumn colors. But soon enough - covered in snow. But we do have a lot of traffic, more and more people are moving here. The only downside is, the mountains trap the fog and pollution so in the winter, we get a lot of unhealthy bad air days.
If you want to go fast just go on a track day. The amount of people who think they’re going to be a good racer because they can drive fast on a highway is mind boggling.
I have a sim racing rig and when there’s a friend of mine who’s a “highway racer” I like to challenge them to a time attack and just watch them flail around the track.
I like racing video games, but I have to admit I suck at them, I’m the one always flying over the railing into the ocean below. Maybe that’s helped me slow down a bit in my real driving (!).
Those idiots going 59 in a 60 area!
Sigh… /s
So true! MY dad used to pack us kids into the backseat, then drive us across country to see all the Southern states, or all the Eastern states, or all the midwest states. It was like, 600 miles a day in the back seat reading comics and eating cookies. I loved it. I’ve seen all the U.S. states, except Alaska and Hawaii. When I drive on a road trip myself, I take my time and I don’t care if everyone else passes me - I’m not in any race, I just want to enjoy the scenery and relax and eat cookies and drink the views.
As long as you’re not enjoying the scenery from the left lane, I have no issues with you.
Til I’m a dad
As a non dad (thank God, no brats to tend to), I never stop. I can drive for days. Pee in the empty coke bottle. No wife, no kids, just me and the open road. Got my cooler with my sammiches. Not stopping ever.
He drives.
