• Wisely@lemm.ee
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    22 hours ago

    If someone is dying from being overweight, can’t see without glasses, can’t get around without a prosthetic, etc you treat it. There is a severe quality of life problem that is beyond cosmetic.

    For someone who is trans, not having surgery or hormones is like that. They can’t have relationships and sex the way they want. They can’t fit into society without standing out or being told who or what they really are. They can be in danger of anything up to being murdered.

    Assuming you aren’t trans, you have built your life the way you wanted. Dated who you wanted, dressed how you wanted etc. The people you date see in you what you see in yourself.

    Now imagine you woke up with a body of the opposite sex. Is your relationship with your partner the same? Or has the way you had sex and relationship dynamics completely changed? Can you wear the same clothes or take part in the same hobbies or work the same job? Without any pushback or modifications? Are you ok being referred incorrectly as mam or sir, he or she? How would you mentally feel now that your body isn’t the gender you know yourself to be?

    As a straight man what would it be like to only be able to date lesbians who are attracted to feminine aspects that you don’t want in yourself? How would you feel about dildos? Or as a straight woman how your dating prospects would change only being able to date gay men who want your penis?

    • antlion@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      22 hours ago

      I understand. For each individual there’s going to be a limit to what is reasonable or even affordable to make their body work for them. Some people wear glasses while others choose contacts while others opt for lasik. Maybe it’s similar for somebody who has these feelings. Some find contentment being a feminine gay man, some are straight but want to cross dress, others want hormones, and some want more.

      But understand for me that line is way more toward “au natural” than mainstream society. I don’t think women should shave body hair and I don’t like cosmetic surgery or even makeup. I think high heels and even pointed shoe aesthetics for men and women are wrong. I don’t like men who shave their face. I hate perfumes and strong scents on people. But my wife shaves her legs because she wants to and that’s fine.

      I can’t really tell you how I would be because I am not. I will defend trans rights and I will defend the right to get face tattoos. But I wouldn’t want my child to get a face tattoo. But I would still love them if they did. All I’m trying to say is I understand the fear of the conservatives. And I think it’s wrong to expect the government to ease that fear by limiting options for those who want to feel comfortable being themselves.

      But at the same time I don’t really want to encourage kids that they can be whatever they want, because there are some biological limits for each person and it’s worth acknowledging and accepting those limits. Some people can’t learn to sing, while for others it’s natural. Some people are clumsy while others can excel at many sports at a high level. Some people are incredibly sharp thinkers and others are better with their hands. My own personal view is that life is easier if you find your own path within your constraints. Hopefully my kid adopts my values, but maybe not. That’s okay too.